Finding Your 'Happy Place'

"Things are looking up, even when I'm down, had about enough, looking at the ground..." - Things Are Looking Up - R5.

Happy place. Everyone has a happy place, a place where they feel safe and well, happy. It doesn't need to be a place really, just doing something that makes you feel safe and secure, pure happiness. Mine is in my room either listening to my music or watching Teen Wolf or it's when I'm out and about on my penny board taking photos. Those are my happy places because it's where I feel the most happiness running through my chest and where I feel most free to be myself and express myself the most.

No matter where or what you say is your happy place, that's fine and nobody can say you're wrong. It's your happy place, nobody else's. Yours. Whether it is being in bed listening to your favourite band or being outside shopping around the city, it's not wrong, it's where you feel happiest and don't let anybody take that away from you.

Music is a huge part of my life. My dad has always been really into music so when I was growing up, there was also music playing somewhere and it meant I also absolutely fell in love with it. It's a really beautiful thing, the amount of passion and effort that goes into writing a song, the sweet drum beats, the great bass lines, the amazing guitar riffs and the beautiful vocals that go with it all. I'm into a lot of different genre's of music; from rock to classical, I'll happily listen to anything for a try and if I like it, I'll go with it. Not only is it a big part of my life, it is a huge part of my happy place, I can't describe the feeling listening to music sends through me. No matter what has happened, it always makes me feel a lot better about the world around me.

My favourite band; The Vamps make me so happy. Those boys are amazing, they are one of those bands that I am proud to say, I have been supporting from the start, they fill me with a lot of happiness, listening to them, being at the gigs, it just fills me with a different kind of thrill that you can't describe, it has to be felt. From Tristan's beautiful drum beats to Brad's wonderful notes; from James' guitar riffs to Connor's amazing bassline, all of it makes me happy and being at their gigs, listening to them putting in the full passion on a stage in front of me is something that I would take over being at a party any day of my week.       

To me, music truly is my happy place, my escape from life. It brought me a load of really good people and it makes me really happy.

I wish that I could tell all of the bands and musicians that provide that happy place for me, what they did for me and I know that one day I will. 

My room is a huge part of my happy place, it's there for me when I'm sad, angry or happy. It's where I put my earphones in and blast my favourite bands or where I sit at my laptop watching Teen Wolf just to be taken away from where I am. My room is where I feel at my best, my worst, my happiest, my saddest. It's where I go to feel more comfortable and calm, where I go to remind myself of all the things that are going well or that are happening soon. 

I know that sometimes, it feels like happiness is the furthest thing away from what you're feeling right now but finding somewhere or something that you go/do that makes you happy is key. Whether it is your room with a film and your favourite bands blasting from your speakers or at a party dancing all night; it's your happy place so make it what you want it to be. 

In a few days, I meet one of my best friends for the first time and I know that is going to be a happy place for me as my friends mean the world to me. It'll be my escape for a few days, to laugh and listen to our favourite band, share stories and just be happy. After all, life is happy when you find the right people to help you do that.

Life is beautiful and you only get one go at it, make it as beautiful as you are.

See you soon!

Chloe. 

  

Motivation.

Hey guys,
It's currently 1:53 on Tuesday, August 25th and I was reading something and suddenly have so much motivation to do so much stuff. Staying up until the early hours of the morning has become a nightly routine for me, I always seem to get nausea during the night which results in me not being able to fall asleep, anyway, I always find the early hours of the morning a time where I get a load of motivation to do things.

I know a lot of people who seem to find themselves motivated in the early hours of the morning too which is why I'm making this post I guess. Normally, my motivation comes in the light of blog posts, story ideas and new routines that I could try for when I go to college but motivation can push us to do different things. Tidying up, exercising, getting out of bed are just a few ideas off of the top of my head. It's a strange feeling when you suddenly feel motivated to do so much and when it comes in the early hours of the morning like it does with me, it isn't always easy to act on the motivation.

So, I googled the word motivation, and this is the definition,
"A reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way" which is true because when you're motivated, you suddenly find a reason to do something.

In May and June I was doing my exams as you may know if you do read my blog or if you're friends with me. Anyway, during that period and the time leading up to it, I treasured motivation to get up and revise because I knew that the more I revised, the better I would do in those exams that I was taking. My motivation for doing well in my exams came for a few reasons, I wanted to prove to myself that I was more than my high school bullies told me I was, I wanted to get into college so I could have a fresh start, I wanted to make my friends and family proud of me and I didn't want my years of hard work to go to waste and sometimes it worked. Some night, I sat up in my room, earphones in, revising for a good few hours at a time and then other nights I was curled up in a ball, crying and telling myself that I couldn't do it. It was the nights where I was full of motivation that pulled me through that short period in my life and now I have my results, I know that it was all worth it in the end.

I love feeling motivated to do something because when I've done that thing, I always feel a lot better about myself and that day. For example, if it's the early hours of the morning and I think of some sort of story idea, I type the general idea and save if it my notes, ready for a reasonable time, when that time comes, if I look over my notes and the idea is still waiting to be used and my brain is yelling out ideas, I feel a lot better about it because I've managed to keep that motivation.

But, like most things, motivation can also have a bad side to it. Sometimes, people are motivated to do a bad thing and that's a bad side of motivation. When I was about twelve, my parents told me a story about my brother (sorry bro) from when we were little. Basically, we both had advent calendars and one night, he ate all of the chocolate out of my advent calendar and I have no idea why. There must have been a spark of motivation there to make him do it and he acted on it and did it. Have you ever done something you shouldn't have? Acted up at school because you wanted to impress your friends and seem cool? Ate the last chocolate bar because you were hungry even though it belonged to somebody else? These are all things that we do because we have the motivation to do so and although, they are minor things, they're still bad things that are brain is telling us to do which of course, we act on.

When I had just turned fifteen, I knew there was something wrong. As in, I'd been self harming and I needed to speak to somebody, sure, my friends knew it was happening and one of them had decided enough was enough and made me go and see the school councillor and I was terrified. Especially when the words 'I have to tell your parents.' Slipped from her mouth. Fate was on my side that day as she hadn't been able to get through to my mum but now my problem was so out in the open, I took matters into my own hands as my mum and I were laid across her bed whilst we watched TV like we do every night. My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn't focus on anything else and that was it. I told her. It was the best decision that I have ever made and I was so glad for the motivation that struck me in the moment, the motivation to get the help and support that I needed.

So, basically, when you have some motivation to do something good, use it. Even if it is two in the morning and you want to go outside and take a load of photos around your area, do it. Motivation can be a magical thing really, it's our brains way of telling us that we have something to do. But, if you're the one ready to go into a  sibling's room to steal their advent calendar chocolate, stop yourself and ask yourself why you want to do that before turning that bad motivation into good motivation. Make yourself a hot chocolate  instead.

What motivates you to do good things?

See you soon guys,
Chloe

Resolutions

Hello, 

Now, we are already one week into 2015! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while but things have been a little hectic lately. So, considering that we are already one week in I thought I'd post my opinion about New Year's resolutions and little ones I have set for myself this year.

New Year's resolutions, I've always liked the idea. Little goals that people set themselves to achieve throughout the year. Some people stick to them and some people don't. I guess it comes down to what type of person you are and what goals you've actually set yourself because some resolutions can be unrealistic. I always try and stretch myself with the resolutions that I make each year but I also try and make them realistic, so I can feel good about myself come January 1st the next year.

So, here are my New Year's resolutions: 

Stay strong: *Mini trigger warning* This year, I want to be able to go through the year without self harming myself in any way. I've been clean since October 19th 2014 and I want to be able to carry that on throughout the whole of 2015. I see this as a realistic goal because I've made it so far already and that gives me motivation to carry on through the whole year. Plus, I have a lot of support in the form of friends, family and music around me to help me through this year. 

Worry less: Now, this is a little more of an unrealistic goal for me but I still believe I can take the first steps in this. I plan to set it as my resolution every year because I know every year I will come closer to worrying less about everything and becoming less anxious. I worry so much because I suffer quite badly from anxiety and everything around me makes me anxious and worry but I am becoming better at managing to control my anxiety and by doing that I feel as if I will become better at controlling my levels of worry.

Photograph more: As some of you may know, I want to be a photographer. That's literally my main life goal is to become a photographer. So, as one of my resolutions I need to go out and photograph more things in the world. I need to photograph more moments in my life and since I want to be a music photographer I would like to photograph at least five gigs this year. My first gig ever that I am photographing is tomorrow (January 9th 2015) and I am really looking forward to it. I'm hoping to photograph more gigs this year before going on to college to do a photography or journalism course. 

Work hard: This is one of my resolutions every year because I always work hard and I know if I have set myself that goal then I will work even harder. As I guess some of you had gathered, I'm taking my GCSE's in just a few months and I know that these last few months will mean everything to me. I am usually a student that keeps constant A's and B's but I know that I definitely want to keep that up and to not give up when things get difficult. So, I plan to carry on working as hard as I can without obviously stretching myself too much. 

Keep healthy: I know this seems like a cliche resolution but mines a little different. Yes, this does include losing a little more weight but it's mostly to keep healthy mentally. I suffer from both depression and anxiety and I feel like I'm getting a lot better at managing to control myself and my disorders. So yes, I would like to keep my body healthy physically but I also really want to keep my body mentally. 

There you are. They are my resolutions for this year. I'm already doing well at all of them and I really hope I can carry it on through this year. I hope if you guys have made any resolutions then you keep to them. Maybe you could comment what they are? 

Anyways, I'll talk to you all soon. 
Stay strong, 
Chloe xxx

You Are Your Own Person

Hello, 

I have a quote for you today. "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." It is a quote that is up in my English classroom at school and I really like it. People always say that they want to go and find themselves but you don't need to find yourself, you need to create yourself and who you want to be. 

You are your own person. You make your own decisions and make your own mistakes. Life is like Sophie's choice, everything you do is up to you. You can make your own decisions and your own mistakes. Life is full of choices and it's up to you to make the right ones or learn from your mistakes. You are the only one who can make those choices, nobody else; you. You are your own person, you're a person who can see what is wrong and what is right in the world, no matter what has happened to you in the past or what you've done, you are your own person and you can make choices.

You just have to recognise what the right choice is. What the mistake you made was. Did you chose to say something you didn't mean? Did your choice become a mistake? Did your mistake actually turn out to be a good choice? Think before you act. If you're about to do something or say something, think about it first. Think about if it actually needs to be said or not or if it's going to hurt another person. 

Life is full of 'what if's?' It's full of choices and making decisions. There is no point dwelling on the what ifs, it's all in the past. You have to focus on what the future holds and not what the past holds. Life is full of ups and downs, left and rights and if you take the wrong turn, that's okay as long as you realise where you went wrong. 

Life is full of decisions; make the right ones. 

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

Chloe xxx