Motivation.

Hey guys,
It's currently 1:53 on Tuesday, August 25th and I was reading something and suddenly have so much motivation to do so much stuff. Staying up until the early hours of the morning has become a nightly routine for me, I always seem to get nausea during the night which results in me not being able to fall asleep, anyway, I always find the early hours of the morning a time where I get a load of motivation to do things.

I know a lot of people who seem to find themselves motivated in the early hours of the morning too which is why I'm making this post I guess. Normally, my motivation comes in the light of blog posts, story ideas and new routines that I could try for when I go to college but motivation can push us to do different things. Tidying up, exercising, getting out of bed are just a few ideas off of the top of my head. It's a strange feeling when you suddenly feel motivated to do so much and when it comes in the early hours of the morning like it does with me, it isn't always easy to act on the motivation.

So, I googled the word motivation, and this is the definition,
"A reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way" which is true because when you're motivated, you suddenly find a reason to do something.

In May and June I was doing my exams as you may know if you do read my blog or if you're friends with me. Anyway, during that period and the time leading up to it, I treasured motivation to get up and revise because I knew that the more I revised, the better I would do in those exams that I was taking. My motivation for doing well in my exams came for a few reasons, I wanted to prove to myself that I was more than my high school bullies told me I was, I wanted to get into college so I could have a fresh start, I wanted to make my friends and family proud of me and I didn't want my years of hard work to go to waste and sometimes it worked. Some night, I sat up in my room, earphones in, revising for a good few hours at a time and then other nights I was curled up in a ball, crying and telling myself that I couldn't do it. It was the nights where I was full of motivation that pulled me through that short period in my life and now I have my results, I know that it was all worth it in the end.

I love feeling motivated to do something because when I've done that thing, I always feel a lot better about myself and that day. For example, if it's the early hours of the morning and I think of some sort of story idea, I type the general idea and save if it my notes, ready for a reasonable time, when that time comes, if I look over my notes and the idea is still waiting to be used and my brain is yelling out ideas, I feel a lot better about it because I've managed to keep that motivation.

But, like most things, motivation can also have a bad side to it. Sometimes, people are motivated to do a bad thing and that's a bad side of motivation. When I was about twelve, my parents told me a story about my brother (sorry bro) from when we were little. Basically, we both had advent calendars and one night, he ate all of the chocolate out of my advent calendar and I have no idea why. There must have been a spark of motivation there to make him do it and he acted on it and did it. Have you ever done something you shouldn't have? Acted up at school because you wanted to impress your friends and seem cool? Ate the last chocolate bar because you were hungry even though it belonged to somebody else? These are all things that we do because we have the motivation to do so and although, they are minor things, they're still bad things that are brain is telling us to do which of course, we act on.

When I had just turned fifteen, I knew there was something wrong. As in, I'd been self harming and I needed to speak to somebody, sure, my friends knew it was happening and one of them had decided enough was enough and made me go and see the school councillor and I was terrified. Especially when the words 'I have to tell your parents.' Slipped from her mouth. Fate was on my side that day as she hadn't been able to get through to my mum but now my problem was so out in the open, I took matters into my own hands as my mum and I were laid across her bed whilst we watched TV like we do every night. My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn't focus on anything else and that was it. I told her. It was the best decision that I have ever made and I was so glad for the motivation that struck me in the moment, the motivation to get the help and support that I needed.

So, basically, when you have some motivation to do something good, use it. Even if it is two in the morning and you want to go outside and take a load of photos around your area, do it. Motivation can be a magical thing really, it's our brains way of telling us that we have something to do. But, if you're the one ready to go into a  sibling's room to steal their advent calendar chocolate, stop yourself and ask yourself why you want to do that before turning that bad motivation into good motivation. Make yourself a hot chocolate  instead.

What motivates you to do good things?

See you soon guys,
Chloe