2015.

So, here we are. The end of another year. December 2015. Another year is gone and to be honest, this one has been a really weird one for me. There's been many low points but at the other end of that, there's been some amazing high points.

The first one of those really high points landed on January 9th 2015, the day that I went out into the pit at a gig and photographed it. For the first time in my life, during those hours, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I suddenly had this amazing confidence in myself and my own ability. The person I need to thank for that choice in my life is Dean Sherwood, he inspired me to want to properly grab my camera and peruse my dreams.

Another really high point happened in April 9th, again, I was photographing a gig. A few days before this day, I photographed a gig for a band (I'm not naming them) and honestly, it was terrible. It was terrible because of a lot of things and at the end of the night, I went home and started uploading and editing the photos that I'd taken and I cried. I sat in tears because as I was looking through these photos I felt my own confidence break down pretty fast and I almost quit but I didn't. The reason for that happened on April 9th, I was shaken when I got into that photo pit I had a lot of fun. I went home and looked at the photos and smiled because there it was, the photos came out great and I felt a lot better about myself and my work. (thank you Bry and Dodie!)

 In May, something I didn't think would happen, did happen. I met my favourite YouTuber; Connor Franta. It was really strange as I've been watching his videos basically from the start. It's always weird when you meet people that you look up to in real life. He is an amazing person and he helped me through a lot of my darker days and I still watch all of his videos to this day. So, I'd like to thank him for all the things he has done for me. Him and the rest of 02L are great and I owe a lot to them.

In June, something really big happened for me, I finished high school and honestly, that is something I didn't think I'd be able to say. High school was absolute hell for me, it absolutely broke me down, threw me down a hole and jumped on me until I felt I could no longer go on. But, I did it. I made it out and it was the best feeling in the world, to this day, it was the best I've felt in my whole life. It is a hard journey for everyone but as soon as you go out of those gates for the last time, you feel on top of the world. I went through fake friends, bullying, self harm and yet here I am, I made it out onto the other side. It's funny how life works like that.
In August, the second part of that happened, I got my results. Let me tell you, I was an absolute shaking mess when I grabbed them. I looked at them and I felt my heart skip a beat, I'd done it. I'd passed and I was taking a big step in my life because I was going to college. But as I left again, I had another decision to make, was it the right thing for me? There were three things I was great at when I was going through school; geography, English and chemistry. If I went to college, I would be doing English as I was going to do journalism and if I went to 6th form; I'd be doing chemistry. I needed to know what I wanted to do and in the end, I did Journalism and I won't know what would've happened if I'd done chemistry and a part of me still wishes that I'd gone on with chemistry but then, college is the best thing that I've done for myself in my life.

In September, that was when things really started to go in fast forward; aka, I started college. But the day before I started there, I met one of the most amazing person on twitter; Amy and I am so looking forward to meeting her in 2016! Anyway, on my first day, somebody talked to me and I knew her from my induction day; Dani and I never been happier that somebody reached out and talked to me because without this girl in my life, I would have quit college within the first week. Without realising it, she's made a lot of things easier for me and here we are, term one is done and I'm still there so thank you for that.

And those were the main points of 2015 for me and now, now for the fun things.

In 2015, I went to a lot of amazing gigs. I was lucky enough to see my favourite band in the whole world, The Vamps, five times and every time made me so happy. Being at their gigs in generally my happy, safe place, singing their songs at the top of my lungs, being with my friends. It's amazing what music does and this band, they honestly mean the whole world to me but I'm planing on dedicating a whole post to that when tour has finished again.
There was also Fusion Festival and that, there are no words to say how amazing that day was. As well as my favourite band being there, I was introduced to HomeTown, who are great!! I saw Adam Lambert, Conor Maynard, McBusted and Union J. The day was amazing from start to finish.
I was also lucky enough to go to the BBC music awards. It was one of the most amazing things that I've been too. I've always wanted to go to an awards show like that and we did it. It was breathtaking.

I also found a band this year, Road Trip, they're a new boyband and honestly I've been watching their videos since the start and these guys are amazing. 2016 is most definitely going to be their year. I'm so proud of these guys and I'm so happy that they're in my life. I'd like to thank them for making me smile and making me laugh, good luck for 2016 guys and I look forward to following your journey and meeting you!! (Twitter: RoadTrip3000) (Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZq2SKai_oKTh-pmhrXB9xQ )

Anyway, thank you to those who made 2015 a really good and to those who made it bad, I'm glad you're no longer a part of my life. I'm wishing you all a Happy New Year! Bring on 2016.

(Here are some of my highlights)

Bye guys!!!

It's Christmas!!

Hey guys!

So,December and that only means one thing! Christmas is here! With four days to go, I am getting a little more in the mood each day, it doesn't really feel like it's time yet but I guess that's just because, 2015 has come and gone so fast, I feel like it should still be May! Don't you think this year has gone stupidly fast? Though, I'm happy that it's landed here again as it is my favourite month. It just feels like a cosy month where people light candles, put the fire on and snuggle up with some good films.

Since the start of the month, I finished college for the term, attended the BBC music awards and caught up with most of my friends and family. The BBC awards was absolutely amazing, the acts there were so, so good and I had so much fun with Dani, I'm so thankful that we went and I hope we go again at the end of 2016. My friends are finished with uni for the semester which means I had a chance to catch up with them and we went to Birmingham around the German Market and I met two of them for a catch up white hot chocolate.

I am looking forward to this week, Shayla is staying with me until Christmas Eve as it means she's here on my birthday (23rd) so I'm looking forward to spending a few days with her. We're going to sit in my room on our laptops and we're going to film a video for her YT. And then on my birthday we're going for a meal with my family and Dani so it should be good and then she goes home and it'll be time for wrapping and preparing for the big day.

Then, when all of that is finished it will be time for 2016. I don't know what 2016 holds for me but I look forward to taking the journey through it to see what it brings me. There is something beautiful about starting a whole new year. I'm not going to be that 'new year, new me' person because I'm not. Sure, there will be personal goals that I want to achieve through the year but I'm not a new person. I'm still boring old me. There are some exciting things happening in 2016 though so I'm looking forward to those!


Anyways, 

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas, if you celebrate it and if not, I hope the rest of 2015 treats you well.

I'll talk to you all soon!




 

Resolutions

Hello, 

Now, we are already one week into 2015! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while but things have been a little hectic lately. So, considering that we are already one week in I thought I'd post my opinion about New Year's resolutions and little ones I have set for myself this year.

New Year's resolutions, I've always liked the idea. Little goals that people set themselves to achieve throughout the year. Some people stick to them and some people don't. I guess it comes down to what type of person you are and what goals you've actually set yourself because some resolutions can be unrealistic. I always try and stretch myself with the resolutions that I make each year but I also try and make them realistic, so I can feel good about myself come January 1st the next year.

So, here are my New Year's resolutions: 

Stay strong: *Mini trigger warning* This year, I want to be able to go through the year without self harming myself in any way. I've been clean since October 19th 2014 and I want to be able to carry that on throughout the whole of 2015. I see this as a realistic goal because I've made it so far already and that gives me motivation to carry on through the whole year. Plus, I have a lot of support in the form of friends, family and music around me to help me through this year. 

Worry less: Now, this is a little more of an unrealistic goal for me but I still believe I can take the first steps in this. I plan to set it as my resolution every year because I know every year I will come closer to worrying less about everything and becoming less anxious. I worry so much because I suffer quite badly from anxiety and everything around me makes me anxious and worry but I am becoming better at managing to control my anxiety and by doing that I feel as if I will become better at controlling my levels of worry.

Photograph more: As some of you may know, I want to be a photographer. That's literally my main life goal is to become a photographer. So, as one of my resolutions I need to go out and photograph more things in the world. I need to photograph more moments in my life and since I want to be a music photographer I would like to photograph at least five gigs this year. My first gig ever that I am photographing is tomorrow (January 9th 2015) and I am really looking forward to it. I'm hoping to photograph more gigs this year before going on to college to do a photography or journalism course. 

Work hard: This is one of my resolutions every year because I always work hard and I know if I have set myself that goal then I will work even harder. As I guess some of you had gathered, I'm taking my GCSE's in just a few months and I know that these last few months will mean everything to me. I am usually a student that keeps constant A's and B's but I know that I definitely want to keep that up and to not give up when things get difficult. So, I plan to carry on working as hard as I can without obviously stretching myself too much. 

Keep healthy: I know this seems like a cliche resolution but mines a little different. Yes, this does include losing a little more weight but it's mostly to keep healthy mentally. I suffer from both depression and anxiety and I feel like I'm getting a lot better at managing to control myself and my disorders. So yes, I would like to keep my body healthy physically but I also really want to keep my body mentally. 

There you are. They are my resolutions for this year. I'm already doing well at all of them and I really hope I can carry it on through this year. I hope if you guys have made any resolutions then you keep to them. Maybe you could comment what they are? 

Anyways, I'll talk to you all soon. 
Stay strong, 
Chloe xxx